A Legal Christmas

A colleague of mine sent a nice holiday greeting over email recently and at the end of a very nice sentiment, he included a very appropriate CYA version that gave me a good laugh. I just had to share it. It is unfortunate that in this litigious world, a greeting such as this doesn't seem too far out there. Regardless, it is a fun read:

From me ("the wishor") to you ("the wishee"):

Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of your choice.

I wish you a financially successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2010, but with due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures, and having regard to the race, creed, age, physical ability, faith or choice of computer platform (MAC, PC, C64) of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting you are bound by these terms that:

• This greeting is subject to further clarification or withdrawal.
• This greeting is freely transferable provided that no alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary rights of the wishor are acknowledged.
• This greeting implies no promise whatsoever by the wishor to actually implement any of the wishes.
• This greeting may not be enforceable in certain jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be binding upon certain wishes in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wishor.
• This greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.
• The wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor.

Any references in this greeting to "the Lord", "Father Christmas", "Our Saviour", "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party names and images are hereby acknowledged and all due clearances and consents of the same have been diligently obtained.

This greeting is made under [insert you company name] Law and shall be interpreted, construed and governed by the laws of said company.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY 2010!